Your Boss Is A Total Loser, Probably
 
Bosses and managers can make or break a company, but they're seldom ever held accountable for the negatives. A real terrible boss will take credit for every success while passing blame for every failure. Most of us have worked for someone who was either incompetent, unaccountable or dishonest. Most people who aggressively seek out management positions inside someone else's company are known to be narcissists and megalomaniacs, so we're best to stay on their good side until we can prove their failures. Even then, the worst kind of boss will also be an epic ass-kisser and know exactly how to butter up their own bosses to avoid accountability.

Here are five tell-tale signs that your boss is a complete loser. Most bosses are terrible, but only the worst will exhibit all five of these signs.


5. They've Befriended Their Own Boss

The worst kind of asshole is the kind who butters up their bosses, befriends them and/or seduces them with constant compliments and gifts. If your boss has become his or her boss's golfing buddy, you'll probably have a tough time seeing any workplace justice.

If this befriended higher boss is of the opposite sex, your problems might go deeper, but your chances of seeing light at the end of the tunnel are much better. In situations when two bosses are sleeping with each other - or dating - it's usually only a matter of time until their relationship goes sideways and turns sour. Unless they get married, you can take comfort in knowing that one of them will lose their job sooner or later. When that happens, you can get a fresh start at trying to prove your boss's incompetence or dishonesty before your boss tries to butter up the new person.

No truly good or competent boss ever befriends their bosses or their employees. If they do, it's because they have an ulterior motive or because they're totally naive and unfit for leadership. Most good managers will keep work and play separate, no matter what.


4. They Cover Up Their Failures

I once had a boss who never bothered to train me for the job. When I failed, I took all the blame - despite complaining to higher management about feeling uncomfortable and ill-equipped for certain tasks. Whether it's their own mistake or their own lack of competence in training new employees, a shitty boss won't ever take the blame.

A true loser will always try to dodge responsibility and accountability. To have a boss like this means having to keep track of all your own actions to avoid having a mistake pinned on you. A dirty, slimy boss who can't handle taking responsibility for his or her own errors will almost always pick an unwitting employee to take the fall.

Luckily, if your boss is the type to pass the buck to unsuspecting employees, their time is limited. Eventually, bosses like this always get caught because they run out of employees to take the fall for their mistakes. The more prone this kind of boss is to mistakes, the closer he or she will come to demise. The best way to beat an asshole like this is to track all of your actions, be vigilant, and make the fewest mistakes possible - but always be honest when you fuck up. This makes you a less desirable target.

An unaccountable, untrustworthy boss can't easily pin mistakes on a known perfectionist.
3. They're Obsessed With Leaving A Legacy

Arguably one of the worst characteristics of a terrible manager can be spotted right off the bat. If your new boss starts immediately changing the most menial aspects of your job - from how you cross your Ts to how many knots your tie should have - you're not going to like your new boss. Not only will you hate your new boss, your new boss will be a complete failure.

New bosses who obsess over changing (and tweaking) every little process or procedure are obsessed with only one thing: making a mark. As they get more comfortable, their obsession with their own legacy will get worse and worse. They'll start with small, menial things and move into big things. Bosses like this won't care if their reforms and changes are making things worse, as long as they're able to leave a lasting mark. The worst kind will defend their changes even if their changes are criticized or proven to be ineffective and regressive.

If your boss is obsessed with changing the status quo, just for the sake of changing the status quo, your boss is the worst kind of loser. The characteristics of megalomania and narcissism are key components of some "legacy seekers". The boss who obsesses over his or her own legacy is also - almost always - obsessed with control. That same boss will be the type who considers you "late" when you're right on time.

A boss who can scold you for being late when you're actually on time (and not ten minutes early, as they think you should be) must work for a company with absolutely no deficiencies and no other important issues to resolve. Or, they're just a legacy-obsessed control freak.


2. They Enjoy Doling Out Punishments

A genuinely good boss won't enjoy handing you a warning letter or a reprimand. A truly good boss will have trouble mustering up the energy to inform you that you've fucked up or reached the limit. A good boss will dole out a punishment with obvious reluctance and regret.

If you notice a sly smirk or grin on your boss's face as he or she hands you a warning letter or reprimand, you can be sure that they're enjoying every minute of your suffering. If your boss shows obvious signs of joy while you squirm in your seat, your boss is a complete megalomaniac. But more importantly, your boss is a complete fucking loser.

The worst kind of boss won't just enjoy punishing you, they'll enjoy punishing you often. If you find yourself the subject of indiscriminate amounts of warnings and reprimands without actually getting canned, chances are that your boss loves punishing you so much that he or she won't fire you just so they can keep punishing you.



1. They're Verbally Abusive

A boss who makes you feel like shit about yourself is the worst kind of loser. A boss who makes you feel like shit by subtly, or not so subtly berating you is the worst kind of person. Believe it or not, these kinds of bosses are more common than any of us would like to admit.

Bosses who exhibit more than one of these five signs likely have clinical psychosis and megalomania, but ones who exhibit overtly abusive behaviour are almost certainly borderline psychotic.

As horrible as the workplace environment might be with a verbally abusive boss, these kinds of bosses are the easiest to get rid of and beat. Abusive bosses, due to their obvious psychosis, can't fully control their outbursts and are likely to let their rage get noticed. If they abuse enough people, a company with a competent HR department will have them dealt with sooner than later. For some unfortunate people, that isn't always the case. Luckily, though, most governments have regulations and officers that will investigate claims of abuse.

If your boss calls you names and berates you, don't put up with it. There is always someone, somewhere who can help you deal with it legally.
Abuse can range from subtle threats to name calling. In the worst case, it can range from yelling obscenities to actual, physical violence.

If your boss shows all five of these signs, you should get a new job or find someone to help you take legal action, before your job takes a toll on your personal well-being.

      June 2016 | Augustus

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